


Vandalism of a Crappy Class

by VanamesGurl



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Fun, Kind of AU??, Starts with Wendy first day of school after the current summer, Time Skips, skips to 16 year old Pines, vandalism kinda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:03:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanamesGurl/pseuds/VanamesGurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically everyone is super bored in the same class and they all vandalize the same desk without fail. It's literally fluff for the most part, with badass twins in later chapters, and parental Stans. Give it a shot please I suck at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Ice Bag

         Wendy walked up to her classroom door a minute after the bell rang, and hesitated outside, watching the teacher. The second the old lady, Mrs. Goodwin, turned her back to the door, the red haired teen made a break for it. She stealthily made it without being caught. She let out a sigh of relief and sagged in her chair.

         She gazed out the window, already zoning out. There were trees still cloaked in green leaves, as well as a sky bluer than should be legal. First day of school at Gravity Falls High, and Wendy already couldn’t wait to get out, for summer to restart, and (most importantly) for her friends Mabel and Dipper to return.

         The teacher droned on and on and ON, completely inconsiderate of the girl’s hatred for-blegh-history. Wendy pulled out her pencil, and, feeling nostalgic to when she was first getting to know the twins, scribbled down ‘’The Town Is Not What It Seems-Don’t Trespass’’, and signed it with a tiny little bag of ice.

         Somehow, the period flew by as Wendy lost herself in daydreams of ice fights, facing down ghosts, dancing twelve year olds dressed as lambs, and of all the mysteries the twins had uncovered. She was so lucky to have been able to fight alongside them all of those chances she had, and she wouldn’t have had her summer spent any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that the first chapter of this is so incredibly short but I'll be posting WAY longer ones after this. What you can expect:more vandalism; awful influences in the form of triangles; badass Dipper; badass track star Mabel; Stanford being proud of his badass family; clueless but sweet Soos; Stanley secretly proud of his badass family. Anyway, stay tuned, cuz it'll be a fun ride!


	2. Chapter One: Pine Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dipper and Mabel are sixteen, and moving. Also, Dipper discovers why everyone else hates history.

Dipper groaned with effort as he shoved _another_ trunk of Mabel’s art supplies up the stairs, huffing with the strain. At least he’d be able to spend a few minutes of peace by moving all of the luggage to the attic of the Mystery Shack from the party downstairs. Sure, Wendy was there, but so were Grenda, Candy, and even Pacifica. So he doubted that anyone could really blame him for choosing extensive heavy lifting over quality time with his sister’s friends.

         He turned around, and trekked down the stairs yet again to receive the last few trunks and suitcases, getting lost in thought along the way.

         _Just two weeks before the school year started, Mr. and Mrs. Pines had sat their only kids down for a serious talk at the kitchen table of the Mystery Shack._

         _“So, you two seemed to really enjoy visiting your Gruncle Stan this summer, hm?” Joy Pines question, a gentle smile on her face._

_“Yeah, mom!” Mabel enthusiastically agreed. “We got to meet so many awesome people, I got Waddles, I became a Congresswoman, we really love Stan, Dipper actually went outside a ton, and-“_

_“Yeah, we really liked it.” Dipper interrupted his energetic sister, hoping to stem the flow of ceaseless energy his sister exploded with at seeing their parents again. “But, why are you here? You’re not supposed to get us for a week? Not that we’re not happy to see you! Are we leaving already?”_

_“Are we-hey, I was gonna ask that!” Mabel laughed, punching her brother’s arm playfully. Across the kitchen table from them, their parents smiled fondly._

_“Yes, you two are.” Holding up his hand to silence his kids’ exclamations of disappointment, he continued, “But you have two choices. Come home with us , or…” Here, he paused and looked expectantly at his wife, who burst forth with the rest of his proposal._

_“You can move here and live with your Gruncle!”_

_Neither twin moved._

_Neither twin spoke._

_Then,_

_“OHMYGOSH I CAN STAY WITH WADDLES AND GRENDA AND CANDY AND STAN AND-“_

_“I CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES AND GO ADVENTURING AND HOLY CRUD HANG WITH SOOS AND OH MAN-“_

_However, at the same time, they froze. Mabel, Dipper knew, could tell she was missing what Dipper had noticed. But she knew something was off. Their mother usually smiled bigger than this, and their father looked at them like it would be the last time. Mabel looked at Dipper, wondering what she had missed._

_“Just… us? You said just us. Aren’t you staying?” Dipper asked softly, the excitement gone in a heartbeat. “If this is because I never shut up about the supernatural, dad, and I know you hate it then I’ll stop, or if it’s about how I never go outside back home I will, please whatever I did-”_

_“Oh, mom, I won’t make a mess in the study anymore I swear I’ll stop, Dip and I won’t fight anymore, please don’t be mad at us-” Mabel tried to talk at the same time as her brother, both convinced that they had angered their parents into wanting to get rid of them somehow._

_“Woah, hey! No, no, no, no, my sweets, oh no!” Joy almost shouted, waving her hands at her children. “It’s nothing you did, I promise! Your father and I took really well paying jobs, both of which takes up a_ lot  _of our time. Unfortunately, we kind of didn’t really communicate too well over it, so we had no clue that neither of us would be home enough for you two. So, we wanted to know if you two were okay with living with your Gruncle year-round? We’ll visit as often as possible.”_

_“If you two aren’t okay with it, though, we won’t take the jobs. We’ll walk away from the promotions with no hesitation.” Their father assured his children._

_Dipper could tell that his parents desperately wanted these promotions, or else they wouldn’t even consider leaving their kids for some jobs. A glance at Mabel, and they were on the same page._

_“I’d love for you two to have your jobs!” Mabel squealed, genuinely happy for their parents. Dipper smiled his agreement, letting Mabel do the talking for the moment. “You two have held back from taking any big offers for so long for me and Dip, so go! Take these ones! We love Stan, he loves and cares for us, and we know you love us! It’ll be great for all of us.”_

_“Seriously,” Dipper added, “do it. Take the jobs. We love it here, and we have better friends here than back home. You’ll be so happy with your jobs. It’s a win for everyone.”_

_Neither twin had an ounce of regret when their parents’ faces swelled with joy and pride, or when they were engulfed in their parents’ arms._

         That was how Dipper wound up lugging the last trunk up to the attic, wiping sweat from his brow. He surveyed the still clean room, remembering all of the summers he spent in this room with his sister, and all of the fights they’d had, and all of the times they’d made up. He noticed the little stack of notebooks by his bed, each filled cover to cover with his own discoveries and notes on the secrets of Gravity Falls.

         “Dipper! Mom and Dad have to go!” Mabel shouted up the stairs, spurring Dipper into motion.

         He thudded down the stairs, jumping the last six, landing just in time for his mother to yank him against her in a big embrace. He grinned at her, then turned to give a vaguely awkward man-hug to his father.

         “Keep up the good work in school, Dipper. Don’t listen to any stupid urban legends, and keep your sister safe.” He lectured fondly, readjusting Dipper’s hat. Then he turned to Mabel.

         “Keep up the good work in school, Mabel. Don’t forget to add all of the sparkles you want, and color everything you can. Don’t watch any stupid movies, and keep an eye on your pig.” Their father readjusts her hair band, and squishes them both in a big hug.

         Their mother just gives them a big smile, and they both tell their children “We love you two more than anything.” Then they’re gone, and it’s just the twins, Mabel’s friends, and Stan.

 

                         FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

         “Dip! DIPPER WAKE UP!” Mabel’s scream startled Dipper into falling out of bed. He groaned as he looked up at his sister, his vision still blurry with sleep.

         Mabel wore a bright pink sweater dress, with a paintbrush and an empty easel on it’s front. She had her long, brown hair pulled up in a bun, and her shooting star earrings were clearly visible.

         “Oh, crap.” Dipper groaned, rubbing his face, realizing what day it was.

         “Yep!” First day of school!” Get dressed!” Mabel ordered, yanking him to his feet.

         Sluggishly, Dipper pulled on a dark orange t-shirt, a deep blue hoodie, and his baggie jeans. He ruffled his shaggy hair with a hand, not even bothering to check his reflection. Mabel just snorted when he walked downstairs, so he figured that he didn’t look too horrible.

         He grabbed a piece of toast, and the twins raced out the door, eager to see the high school they spent ages hearing Wendy and the gang curse, completely forgetting to tell their gruncle goodbye.

                                                                                                           

AT SCHOOL

 

         This. School. Was. So. Small.

         Dipper was thoroughly disappointed with just how puny this school was, though he shouldn’t have been surprised. Gravity Falls was such a small town, no wonder everyone knew everyone, and that there seemed to be roughly less than a hundred classrooms. Trudging through the barely crowded, easy to navigate halls, he made his way to his first period-history.

         Fifteen minutes into class, Dipper was firmly under the belief that he’d rather face another heard of Gremlobins than sit in that room for another second. He loved history-the dates, people, battles, and locations were like a puzzle he was more than happy to solve. But this… this was just horrible.

         The teacher looked older than her lessons, her voice was rusty and warbled throughout the room, and half of the class was sleeping. It got that he was so bored, he was staring at his plain, uninteresting-in-any-other-situation desk, examining it’s completely empty surface-wait. In the bottom left corner, written in a very familiar, lazy scrawl, were the words ‘The Town Is Not What It Seems-Don’t Trespass’, signed with a-was that a bag of ice?

         The handwriting was almost painfully familiar, but ice? Why an ice bag? Why no trespassing? What did this person do? The mystery seemed to be unsolvable, considering it was just some random act of vandalism, so Dipper almost felt justified in ignoring it. Plus, he couldn’t place whose handwriting it was. But, at the same time, he _knew_ that handwriting, and he knew he could do it. So he completely focused on it.

He was staring, so totally lost in thought, that the rest of the class passed by so quickly Dipper was half-convinced that he’d accidentally cast a spell to make the clock go quicker. With two minutes left in class, Dipper began to pack his things when it clicked.

Wendy. Trespassing in the haunted convenience store. That ice fight. The first time she found out something was going on in Gravity Falls. Duh.

With a smirk, Dipper quickly scribbled ‘QUESTION EVERYTHING-DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS’, and signed it with a pine tree. Then the bell rang, and he hurried to meet Mabel between classes, the act almost completely forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here we go. This was rushed, so the chapters will probably get longer. Next up is Mabel!


	3. Chapter Two: Shooting Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel suffers Goodwin's wrath next. Paz shows up.

Mabel leaned against her locker, a notebook in hand, as she waited for Dipper. This school was so small, she spotted her brother the second he scurried out of his classroom.  
      She beamed at him, still trying to wake up from her extensively boring math class, and asked, "So, what was it like? I hope she's not NEARLY as boring as our math teacher. Like, how lame could he be in just ninety minutes and three seconds? It got so boring that I only know the exact time because I COUNTED the seconds. Dippingsauce, do you know how bore I'd have to be to do that? Like, level FOURTY bored!"  
       Her brother rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. She knew he loved history, so she expected a rant about how fascinating the year was going to be. Which was why she was astounded by his response.  
     "The teacher SUCKS. I can now fully understand your hatred for history. Even her voice annoys me to no end." He sagged with the sheer weight of his disappointment in that class. For a second, Mabel felt bad for him-she understood how he adored learning, even though he loathed school. His eyes would light up, he'd make large hand gestures, and he would just..glow with his passion for knowledge. But then it hit her.  
     "OH NO!!" She wailed, causing people to freeze and glare at her. "If history sucks for even YOU, then it's going to KILL ME!"  
      "You have Miss Goodwin don't you?" A new voice asked.  
Pacifica had walked up at some point, looking as fabulous as ever. For her first day of school look, she had on a violet shirt with gorgeous flower designs, a pinkish hue colored short jacket, and a tealish skirt and black leggings.  
      "Hey, Pacifica," greeted a nonchalant Dipper. How he wasn't stunned by Pacifica every time they saw her, she's never know.  
Which is why her reaction was much more dramatic.  
      "PAZ!" She wailed, throwing herself into her friend's arms. "It's dreadful! A catastrophe! If even my dorky brother hates history, then I'm going to DIE! You're going to have to go to my funeral, and you're totally gonna cry cuz you love me, and Dipper's gonna have to take care of Waddles which is awful for my poor pig and I-"  
     "Mabel, I have her class next too." Pacifica said casually, not at all phased by her glittery friends outburst, even though it was way too early for it.  
       "Thank GOD! Lets go!" Mabel cheered, instantly happier. She waved to her brother, promising to meet him later. He nodded to both girls, and headed off to the math class she had just vacated. She trudging with Pacifica to history.  
         MIDDLE OF CLASS  
     Pacifica had had to sit in front of Mabel since they had gotten in right before the bell rang, thanks to her ranting. But she didn't really mind, since the blonde was just as pretty from the back as she was from the front.  
       But, even with one of her Ultra Best Friends in her class, she was ready for her funeral. Even if it meant leaving Waddles. She had been staring out the window for the last twenty minutes, contemplating jumping. Even though they were on the second floor.  
      Finally, Mabel gave up. Her. Mabel Pines. She had survive years of trekking after her brother in the hot and humid forest, suffered Gideon's ungodly list, put up with Pacifica's bullying(long since forgotten), and even fought her fair share of magical creatures. She had never once given up or lost hope. Until now.  
      She looked at her desk, ready to drop her head when she saw it. Her brother's hand writing. 'QUESTION EVERYTHING-DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS', signed with a pine tree.  
Near it, different hand writing said 'THE TOWN IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS-DON'T TRESPASS' with an ice bag. The handwriting was familiar, and she was able to place it instantly. Wendy. She never forgot handwriting. That way, she could forge anyone's and frame them, just like Gruncle Stan taught her!  
     She smiled, figuring her old friend meant the night they had gone to the Dusk to Dawn, and she had been tripping on Smile Dip and then possessed by a ghost. Good times.  
     Giggling to herself, she decided to pull out her glitter glue and get to work.  
       END OF CLASS  
     Mabel looked up at the clock, and saw that class was almost over. She quickly signed her own quote with a picture of a shooting star, with pink and purple glitter making the tail. Then, the bell rang. As she packed to go, she thought about her own quote and wondered if Dipper would see fit to add to it. She selfishly hoped not, since it was such a work of art.  
      It said 'GLITTER AND SCRATCH N SNIFF STICKERS ARE THE SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH', with the letters looking 3-D. There were little stars and tiny sparkles sketched around it, and the whole thing had a plethora of colored glittered all over it. Pure art.  
     "Mabes, hurry up! Your lame brother's probably waiting already." Paz nagged from beside the door. Mabel flashed her a grin and threw her back pack on. She rushed over, while cheering "Lunch! Lunch! Lunch!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I planned on being a hell of a lot faster, but the lack of feedback really put a damper on my motivation. But I still kinda like this idea since I actually have a plan for this story, instead of just a bunch of random one shots. So, maybe Ill update quicker with more feedback, but idk. I don't think ill do a new one every day, but who knows?


	4. Chapter Three: Enter the Triangle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Bill Nye Theme plays softly*   
> This took forever and I would've honestly taken a lot longer, if it hadn't been for Marijane_Akuma. Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice! I really appreciate it.

THREE MONTHS LATER   
"Dipper, you're gonna be late again kid!" Stan's voice carried up into the attic, startling Dipper awake.  
He groaned, and shouted back, "Stan, it's the Friday before winter break starts! Do I really HAVE to go?"  
"I'm going, bro bro!" Mabel joined in, trying to persuade him. But his bed was warm, and the outside air was not.   
"That's because Pacifica's going today!" He hollered back down. His sister and Pacifica had been dating for a while now, having hooked up not long after Halloween ended. Apparently real vampires weren't nearly as cute or friendly in person, and something about facing a horde of them with someone really bonded you two together. Or something like that.   
"Right ten thousand!" Mabel cheered.   
"Look, kid, if you don't go, you'd be breaking the rules," called Stan.   
"To hell with the rules, school sucks, anyway." And with that, the matter was settled. Dipper sank his sleepy head back into his pillow, and fell asleep.   
AROUND NOON I GUESS  
Dipper woke up slowly, very pleased with his sleeping in. He turned over and stared out through the triangular window, lazily watching the snow flakes drift to the ground. Beyond the slightly foggy window, he could see the forest.   
A slow smile spread across his face, and he realized something. This was his first year in winter in Gravity Falls, and he could see what the creatures did all winter! He had the whole day to explore!   
So, he stumbled out of bed, got dressed in some jeans, hiking boots, and a thick, wooly, Mabel sweater, grabbed his back pack and the Journal, and was out the door.   
IN THE WOODS  
Hibernate. All of them. Every last mythical creature was snoozing away.   
Okay, maybe not every creature, but not a single thing popped out at Dipper. Not even a stupid gnome. It FELT like most of the forest was sleeping. Or maybe everything just migrated?  
Dipper sighed, dragging a gloveless hand down his face. In hindsight, he really should have seen this coming. Of course mythical creatures would hibernate or migrate. Why wouldn't they? Even his old friend, the Multi-Bear, was snoring away.   
How did Dipper know that? Because he climbed up the damn cliffs to meet him. That's how.   
It's also how he wound up deep in the woods, freezing, no gloves, and starving.   
Grumbling under his breath, he began the long walk back home. He moved almost gracefully, able to see more than clearly thanks to the brilliant amount of light reflecting off of the snow. He was so focused on looking for his tracks for a quick way home, he nearly ran into another cult sacrifice.   
Yes, another. But that's a different story.   
These guys wore golden cloaks, the hoods thrown up. They stood in a circle surrounded by dead brush and snow, chanting away in some gibberish. In the center of their circle was a large pile of logs, surprisingly dry despite all of the snow.   
Dipper briefly hoped they were just warming up their vocal cords for some wicked cool caroling over a toasty fire, but that hope was quickly dashed. A blue fire roared to life, and lines of the fire shot out to each of the cult members.   
They didn't cease their chanting, nor did they seem to really react. Not at first, anyway.   
Then, suddenly, the world shut down. Everything went black, and the chanting stopped. When the light returned, Dipper realized that whatever the cult had done had knocked him out cold. He stood slowly, trying to shake awake his sleeping limbs. He froze suddenly, realizing the chanting was still gone.   
He looked up, half expecting a lot of angry glares, and instead saw something...worse? All of the members lay on the ground, their chests not even moving. The fire was gone, but there was still a blue glow surrounding where the fire had been, along with tendrils of blue light connecting each of the members to...was that a person?!  
In the middle of the glowing blue light, a silhouette stood. It had broader shoulders than hips, and a lanky build. The light slowly died, revealing a shock of golden hair and dark skin. The man was actually kind of levitating over the logs, but just barely. He wore a golden cloak just like the cult members did. Suddenly, the man's eye(he wore an eyepatch over the other) snapped open, revealing a golden orb of an eye.   
"Oh, boy, Gravity Falls!" The man cheered, slowly settling down on a log, "It is SO great to-" suddenly the man pitched forward, tumbling down the large log pile. He landed on his face in the snow, spluttering in shock.   
"Who summons me on too of a bunch of LOGS?!" the man shouted, his unnaturally pitched voice sending chills down Dipper's spine.   
Suddenly, the man snapped his attention to Dipper, who was more or less in plain sight due to the lack of foliage. The man's face split Ito a large grin, and he called, "The name's Bill Cipher, nice to meet ya!"  
"Bill?" Dipper exclaimed, shocked. "How are you human? Why aren't you a corn chip? Who were these guys? Why did they summon you? Also, I KNOW you, why introduce yourself?"  
"Man, you sure got a lot of questions there kid!" Bill cackled. "But why answer them? And do I know you? I don't recognize you with this silly human eye!"  
"I'm Dipper!" The teen spoke before realizing that it might've worked to his advantage if Bill didn't know him. But, seriously? Bill had been inside of Dipper's body before! How could he not know him?! "Dipper Pines!"  
Bill laughed. "Yeah, right kid. Pine Tree's hardly more than what you humans consider infants! You're not him. Now, get lost before I test out how quickly humans die in the physical realm." At this, Bill's eye turned red, and his hand erupted into blue fire.   
"I AM Pine Tr-Dipper!" Dipper snapped. "I got older! It's been, like, three or four years, man. Besides, even when I knew you I almost a teen!"  
"Wha? Oh yeah! I forgot you silly meat sacks age!" Bill laughed. His clench his hand into a fist, extinguishing the flames.   
"Duh, we age. How did you-wait. Never mind that. How are you HERE? Don't you just need to trick some poor jerk into a deal to take their body? What's with all the flair?" Dipper demanded.   
"First off, I like flair, kid. Secondly, this is my body, I designed it. Thirdly, that's all of the questions I'm answering! Fourthly," here he paused at Dipper's annoyed look, "come on, Pine Tree I know you can count this high! Stay with me! Fourthly, why won't my hands stop shaking?"  
"I-what?" Dipper asked, caught off guard. Indeed, the demon's hands were trembling. "You have no clue how to be a human. Absolutely none." Dipper realized out loud.   
"Of course I do!" Bill protested angrily, his eye red. "It's just..been a while. That's all."  
"Yeah, whatever man. I'm getting out of here before you decide to come after me again." Dipper turned to go, and leave behind the weird demon and his apparently dead cult, when Bill spoke again.   
"Heya Pine Tree, why not make a deal instead?" Bill asked, taking a step after Dipper. Dipper snapped around, furious at the mention of such a thing(and because Bill was taller. Dammit, why was EVERYONE taller?!).  
"A deal? Seriously? After how badly you screwed over my family?!" Dipper shouted, glaring up at Bill.   
"Yes. It's beneficial, don't worry!" Bill said, holding up both hands placatingly and smiling. "Teach me how to be human, and I wot harm your family, ever!"  
"Will you let anything else come after them or sick something or someone after them? Will you possess anyone or anything? Will you do anything without asking someone first, especially if it's illegal? Will you just not say anything should something start trying to hurt us?" Dipper rambled off every question that came to mind, desperate to not put his family-especially Mabel-through a possessed Dipper once again. Finally, one final question popped Ito his mind. "Also, what does teaching you to be human entail, exactly?"  
"Woah-ho-ho, Pine Tree! That's a lot of thinking you've got going on there! I'm impressed. Looks like you really did do a bit of growing up! Now, as for the first questions, I won't let anything harm you and your family meat sack unit, and give you a heads up if something's coming. And, as for your last one, it's basically just giving me the full human experience! Whaddya say, Pine Tree?"  
Bill extended a flaming hand, smirk intact. Dipper scowled, but reached anyway. If it would give his loved ones an extra layer of safety, he'd do anything. He shook the demon's hand.   
BACK TO THE SHACK  
"God dammit Dipper!" Grandpa Stan was shouting. "You brought Bill here?! What the hell were you thinking?! No, you weren't thinking! You put everyone here in danger-your sister, Stanford, me, and yourself! I thought you knew better than this! You're not a little kid anymore!"  
"Dipper, it's BILL we can't trust him! You know this!" Mabel threw in.   
"Kid, you've done a lot of stuff throughout the years, but this takes the cake. You brought a DEMON home!" Gruncle Stan growled. He didn't seem as furious, but more worried.   
"Yeah, okay, but he's bound by a deal to never hurt you guys, let anything harmful near you guys, or sick anything on you!" Dipper tried to soothe his family. He hated the screaming and glares. Beside him, Bill idly fiddled with his hair, seemingly oblivious to the family's tension.   
"Dipper, he. Is. A. Demon. How do we know he'll keep his word?" Stanley growled, looking like he wanted to punch something.   
"Well, Six Digits, I can't. A demon HAS to uphold their side of the bargain, no exceptions." Bill grinned wide, pearly white teeth gleaming. "So, you're all safer than a wyvern surrounded by butterflies!"  
"..thanks, Bill," Dipper grunted.   
"Cipher, what did my nephew promise in return?" Stan demanded.   
"The full human experience! It's boring being an immortal with limits, so I decided to try something new! Pine Tree here just has to keep tabs on me and teach me how to do it!"  
The Pines all glared at Dipper, so he nodded his agreement. Once realizing they were safe and they had no choice in where Bill was staying, the strange family set about to the crucial debate of living arrangements. Mabel flat out refused to share a room with Bill, Bill nearly lost it when it was mentioned he bunk with Stanford, and Stanley strongly debated against the demon getting his own room.   
All eyes fell on Dipper, who just groaned.   
"I know, I know. I bring the beast, I bunk with it." He shook his head, ignoring Bill's indignant arguing that he was not A beast, he was THE beast.   
Upstairs, in Dipper's attic bedroom, began a very long argument over who got the bed. It included two torn pillows, several pens imbedded in the wall, a broken window, two minor fires, and several tickling fights.   
Dipper discovered that simply sleeping on one blanket for a mattress was the best position he could achieve nowadays.   
TWO WEEKS PASS  
Dipper woke up, back aching and neck sore. He rolled over to face the bed with the slumbering demon, and sighed with relief when he saw that Bill was gone. That meant the demon had to make the coffee. Score.   
After getting dressed to go investigate his suspicions of a griffon flock(pride?) nearby, he trudged downstairs for a quick breakfast.   
Mabel was already devouring her pancakes, Bill amiably chatting her ear off. After the initial irritation of living with a demon of the mind, the two had grown close through their shared love of sweaters(the heat provided reminded Bill of hell fire???) and all things destructive.   
"Finally, the pine rises!" Bill cheered jokingly when he dotted Dipper. "'Bout time you got up, I wanna go adventuring already!"  
"Wait, what?" The still drowsy teen asked, ruffling his hair under his cap. He settled down at the plate Mabel set in front of him. "Who said you're coming along? How'd you even know I was going?"  
"It's Saturday, Dip," Mabel said around her mushy mouthful. "You always go adventuring on Saturdays."  
"Plus, you kept muttering about griffons in your sleep." Bill grinned his too wide grin of his.   
Dipper groaned, annoyed that he hadn't broken that sleep time habit yet. He didn't argue further, wary of incurring his Gruncle's or Grandpa's annoyance first thing in the morning.   
An hour later, and Dipper and Bill were halfway up a giant oak, binoculars around their necks. They were trying to spot the hatchling griffons in a huge pine tree a few meters away. Or, at least Dipper was. Bill was more or less bored already, having seen this probably a thousand times throughout his ancient existence. He was more interested in idly tossing pre-gathered pine cones at the forest floor. Dipper ignored him in favor of the adorable cubs(chicks? Griffons are weird) fumbling around their giant nest.   
Suddenly, Bill let out a strangled, yelped swear as he suddenly fell off of his branch. Dipper gasped, instinctively lunging after his falling counterpart. Pro:he grabbed Bill. Con:humans shouldn't be plummeting to the earth so quickly.   
Before the pair could make a horrible pancake(still better than Stancakes though), Bill shot out his hands, forming a blue force field around them. They hit the air above the ground and bounced a few times, then their 'bubble' popped.   
Now a dazed mess on the floor, the boys groaned as they tried to make sense of their lack of anything broken. Dipper was amazed.   
"Bill, I thought you could only spy on people and burn stuff!" He was standing up, yanking the demon to his feet. "I had no clue you could do other stuff like that!"  
"There's a lot of stuff you don't know kid!" Bill laughed, spreading his hands wide. "But, I had no idea you cared so much, Pine Tree!"  
"What?" Dipper asked, taken aback. "Care? About what?"  
"Me, of course!" Bill cackled smugly. "You risked a nasty couple of injuries to catch me."  
Dipper became flushed. "That doesn't mean I care!" He was indignant, and slightly embarrassed. He knew Bill would tell his twin, and neither of them would let him live it down. "I just.. reacted. That's all there was to it!"  
"Haha, yeah right kid!" Bill was genuinely smiling now, a look Dipper hadn't yet seen on the dorito-turned-human. "Don't worry, P.T. It'll be our little secret!"   
Bill blinked really slowly, before pointing to his only good/visible eye. "I'm winking right now."  
With that, he turned and went back to the Shack, whistling as though they hadn't just had a near death experience. Dipper was left standing at the base of the tree, slightly confused at the change.   
He was used to a crueler Bill, one who always took every chance to ridicule and mock him, often getting Mabel to help him. Bill would even take some of Dipper's stuff, like his deodorant or his hat, behind his back.   
The Bill he'd just seen was...genuine. Not some jokester trying to get a rise out of Dipper.   
It wasn't until he had the Shack in his sights that he realized he'd kid of been grinning for the past mile he'd trekked.


	5. Track time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get an inside look at the Dorito's head, and some running time. Kinda.

SPRING BC I DON LIKE TIMELINES  
Dipper awoke from his sleep with a start, then a groan, as Bill jumped up and down on his chest. Bill was laughing hysterically, probably at Dipper's face, before the boy shoved him off. He then turned on his side, wheezing.   
"Bill, what the hell was that for?!" Dipper groaned, catching his breath.   
"Shooting Star called up and told me to wake you up. So I did." Bill explained happily, examining the window to the outdoors. A bird sat right outside the window, preening it's wings.   
"So you tried killing me?" Dipper snapped.   
"Kill you?" Bill started cackling maniacally, clutching his sides. "Believe me, Pine Tree," Bill gasped when he caught his breath, "if I wanted you dead you'd have been dead several times over by now."  
Dipper rolled his eyes before standing up and walking to his dresser. He grabbed some clothes before heading to the bathroom for a quick morning shower. Then he went downstairs, telling himself to not worry about dragging Bill to breakfast in case he forgot to eat again. Dipper didn't care. Not one bit.   
'I'm so screwed..' he thought.   
At the table, Mabel had lain three plates of pancakes, and was digging into a plate already. Bill sat next to her, just beginning to cut his pancakes. He loved to cut his food up because then he could cut something to pieces, as well as stab something a lot.   
"Bro bro!" Mabel cheered upon his entry. "Finally! I was worried you'd sleep through the day! We have try outs after school, remember?"  
"Yes, Mabes, I remember." Dipper said as he reached across the table for the syrup.   
"Try outs?" Bill inquired. "What are those?"  
"It's when our school hold a.. Well, a competition, I guess, for whoever wants to be on a sports team. Today Dip and I are gonna go for track." Mabel explained, having already finished her breakfast.   
"Track is when you race other people for certain lengths, sometimes with relays." Dipper spoke around his mouthful, a habit that always irritated Mabel and fascinated Bill(he couldn't do it without his food falling out).  
"I knew that!" Bill grumbled, nose scrunching(he always did that when he lied. He couldn't exactly pull off a poker face). "But why would you two care? You can already outrun most everything in the forest. What the point?"  
"It's a good way to stay in shape, plus it's always fun to ruin our peers' hopes and dreams in their sport!" Mabel said happily, an innocent smile on her face.   
Both Dipper and Bill paused, staring at her. Suddenly Mabel glanced at the stove clock, and leapt up in alarm.   
"Time for school!" she exclaimed.   
Both twins rushed around, grabbing various items for their tryout, and the day in general. On his way out the door, Dipper paused.   
"See ya after tryouts, Bill," he called.   
He stood there, watching the twins depart. "Later, Pine Tree. And hey," he added "you'll kick some serious ass. Just incision your inner demons on your tail, and you'll be like a speeding bullet!" Bill finished, beaming at his human friend.   
Dipper just looked at him, before grinning. He gave a final nod of farewell and acknowledgement before leaving with his sister.   
When he slid into their beat up truck, Mabel asked, "Wh are you smiling like that?"  
"No reason," Dipper replied.   
BILL P.O.V.   
Once the twins left, Bill rubbed his face with his hand. With them gone, he really had nothing ether to do. It's was shameful on his part, he knew, but it was true. He honestly had nothing to do, other than to wait for them to come back.   
So the demon went back upstairs, still in his pajamas, and flopped on the floor painfully. He groaned, but remained laying on Dipper's makeshift bed. He inhaled Dipper's foresty, musty scent, before rolling onto his back.   
Dipper still didn't know he...how did Star put it? Liked? Yeah, Dipper didn't know Bill 'liked' him. Apparently the academically advanced twin couldn't pick up on it. However, the glittery one knew immediately. Since day one. Literally. It was freaky-Bill didn't even know until Dipper threw himself after Bill that day in the forest, when he fell out of the tree. Ever since, he's actually been listening to Star's advice on how to cope. It involved a lot of sweater, glitter, and a bunch of explosions. Star called them 'fireworks', and they were honestly one of his favorite things the human race had developed. Other than his twins.   
Ever since he had been out Ito his human form, his knowledge had been fading. Luckily, he'd been able to retain plenty on the supernatural, but not nearly enough on humans. Not enough to satisfy Bill, that is. But, then again, it never was.   
He groaned. He was so bored. It was days like this that he regretted not being in the Mindscape, but not really. He really couldn't do much there that he hadn't done a thousand times over, anyway.   
He contemplated reading, but he'd already read through every book in the house, including the ones Dipper had just bought on his last trip to the bookstore.  
He thought about working with the Stans and Soos in the gift shop, but immediately decided against it. He hated how the Stans did nothing but glare, and how the hairless gopher just breathes heavily at him.   
So, that left nothing for him to do. He couldn't even go I the woods on his own because he wasn't entirely sure he could fight in this form yet.   
Considering his lack of options, Bill Cipher finally understood. He hit rock bottom without his twins. 

END OF SCHOOL-MABEL P.O.V  
"You'll be fine. You spend all of your free time in the woods, chasing down monsters or running from them. You can totally handle a stupid small-town high school team." Pacifica said, holding Mabel's hands in her own.  
Mabel smiled at her girlfriend, reassured to see the faith she had in her. "Thank you, Paz. Now I'm totally ready!" Mabel cheered, hugging the Northwest.   
Over her shoulder, Mabel saw her brother walking towards them in the hallway crowded with leaving students. She broke off the hug and called, "Come on, Dip! We don't wanna be late!" Then she turned to Pacifica, pecked her on the cheek, and said "See ya later, Paz!" as she took off.   
Dipper grinned at Mabel's approach, and kept her pace as she lead them towards the gym.   
"You ready?" She asked.   
"Totally. It'll probably be a challenge, though." Dipper mused.   
"Hopefully! We love a challenge." Mabel grinned.   
"I like challenging mysteries, not sports," protested her brother.   
"You'll have fun!" Mabel ordered her brother mid stride.   
Dipper saluted her jokingly.   
They stopped outside of the gym doors, and looked at each other. Mabel could see the paranoia in her brother's gaze, and struggled to push her own butterflies away. At the same time, they said, "Lets do it."  
AT THE END   
The twins stood side by side, panting lightly, as everyone else around them kneeled or paced with hands behind their heads. They had just finish a mile of nonstop running, and both twins were disappointed. It was too easy.   
"Alright!" Coach Mason called, brushing her blonde hair behind an ear. "That was our final challenge of the day for track, and now all we have to do is wait for field to join us. Before they do, however, here's the list of who made the team."  
It took a while, but eventually the list came to the twins' hands.   
Stacy Woods  
Dakota Martin  
Kyle Corduroy  
Michelle Swan  
Dipper Pines  
Mabel Pines  
And so on. Mabel squealed in joy, handing the list on. She and her brother embraced, excited for each other and themselves.   
They did it! They made the team!  
FIRST TRACK MEET-END OF RACE  
"And in first place for the two mile race, Mabel Pines. First for the five mile, Dipper Pines. First for the.."  
The announcer's voice went unnoticed as Mabel embraced her brother, both ignoring each others sweat. They had just won against their rival school, and everyone knew it. Typically track was the sport that GFHS lost each year. And now their whole school would know who had won.   
Mabel saw Bill's blond hair in the crowd, and saw him jumping up and down in joy. Next to him stood Pacifica, and each of them held their own sign. Bill's had Dipper's name written in fancy calligraphy, a dark blue against a teal background, with pine trees in the corners. Pacifica's had Mabel's name in bright, neon pink on fluorescent purple. Shooting stars were in the corners.   
Mabel and Dipper took a running start at the waist hight fence separating the bleachers from the track, and jumped right over it. At least half of the school was there, cheering. "PINES! PINES! PINES!" echoed throughout the track.   
The twins crashed into Pacifica and Bill, and Mabel kissed Paz on the mouth, overcome with pride and joy. She pulled back, just to see her brother doing the unimaginable.   
She squealed as Dipper kissed Bill, the sign o the ground as though tossed absentmindedly. The was a flash, and Mabel saw Pacifica taking pictures.   
"Scrapbookatunitty, right?" Paz asked, smiling.   
"I think I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm keeping the Author as Grandpa Stanley and his brother our beloved Gruncle Stanford. For this fic only, though. Also don't put too much weight into my time skips, I'm kinda fudging it there.. Anyway, enjoy!


	6. Mackerel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHILDREN FIGHTING! I CAN SELL THIS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all the support, and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon! Until then, enjoy(sorry for any typos or errors)!

"BILL BILL BILL BILL!" The chanting. Make it stop. The blonde demon had been through the seven rings of Hell in over twenty dimensions, and he had never once encountered tourtière of this kind. Not once.   
"BILL. BILL. BILL. BILL." His tormentor's voice got louder and louder, which seemed impossible.   
"OKAY SHOOTING STAR WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!" Bill finally exploded, blue flames shooting from him in all directions.   
Mabel Pines stood in front of him, grinning. "So...when do you plan to take my dorky brother out on a-"  
"Don't you dare say it-I will kill your girlfriend right in front of you Star I swear-"  
"DaaaAAAAAte?" Mabel sang, giving Bill her puppy eyed look.   
"You called my bluff," Bill grumbled, slightly impressed. "And I don't know, Star. I'm not even familiar with the whole dating thing you humans do."  
"Mabel, we're gonna be late!" Dipper shouted from downstairs. It was the day after their track meet, and it was time for the twins to go to school.   
"Tell you what, corn chip," Mabel said, getting serious. "After school, I'll help you organize a date. A proper date. Deal?" She asked, holding out a hand.   
"Making deals with the devil, Star? Really?" Bill cooed, grinning his wide grin.   
"Do you want my help or not, Cipher?" Mabel demanded, readjusting her bedazzled backpack.   
"Fine. Deal." Bill grumbled, shaking her hand quickly, not bothering with the blue flames.   
AT SCHOOL  
Mabel lightly kissed Pacifica on the cheek, making Dipper blush as he waited for his sister to finish saying her goodbyes. The girls hugged briefly, and then Pacifica started towards her class, not caring about who saw. Ever since the twins' first summer, she had begun not giving a shit about who saw what. She was so much stronger now, and not even her parents messed with her anymore. Dipper was proud, but also slightly afraid of her.   
"See ya after class, Dip N Dot!" Mabel said brightly, waving. Dipper grinned, waved back, and began the walk to his most abhorred class ever-history.   
He was weaving through his fellow students when he heard the comment. He froze as soon as the words were said, absolute fury coursing through his as he spotted the seniors that had said it.   
"Man, I used to think that Northwest chick was cute, but now that I know she's into girls, I want nothing more than to fuck her normal!" A tall, black haired guy was talking, his two buddies cackling alongside him. Dipper vaguely recognized them from the wrestling team, but he didn't care. He took down the Multibear when he was twelve, and nowadays he could handle basically anything that came at him, thanks to natural abilities and his Grandfather Stanley's training.   
He shoved through the crowd, a scowl in place. He couldn't think straight, he was so furious.   
"Hey, asshat!" Dipper spat, spinning the offender around. "Watch what you say about Pacifica."  
"What? That gay disgrace?" He laughed, elbowing Dipper lightly, almost as though they were all in on one big joke. "C'mon, Pines. Don't you want to see her, begging on her knees? Wanting my big, fat c-"  
Dipper swung once, and he swung hard. In a loud crunch, his fist slammed into the guy's mouth, sending him reeling. "Nobody talks about my family that way."  
Dipper was shoved to the side by the goon on his right, directly into the left's hold. Before anyone could try to say anything, Dipper snapped his head bracket, breaking the left's noise in one sickening crunch. Once freed, he shouted "Right hook!" as he knocked the right one out in one blow.   
His knuckles were sore, but Dipper didn't care. He also ignored the throbbing in his head. He was going to start pummeling them some more, only to have a teacher get in his way.   
"Mr. Pines! What are you doing?!" Mrs. Godwin spat, quickly intervening. "I'm calling your guardian immediately!" The old lady spun towards the groaning students on the ground. "And you! I'm calling your guardians as well!"  
With that, Dipper rolled his eyes and went to his class, ignoring the crowd of students watching.   
BACK AT THE SHACK  
The house phone rang, waking Stan Pines. He rolled out of bed, clad in his signature wife beater and blue boxers, and started trekking through his slightly messy room.   
He came to the phone, and picked up the receiver a ring before missing the call.   
"Hello? What? What do you want?" He grouched irritably.   
"Is this Stan Pines? Guardian of Mabel and Dipper Pines?" The female voice on the other end asked.   
"What? Who's asking?" He snapped, finally waking up for real at the sound of his niece's and nephew's names.   
"I'm Sheryl from the office at Gravity Falls High, and your charge Dipper Pines was in a fight today."  
"Children fighting?! And I missed it?!" Stan shouted, offended that he wasn't invited to his nephew's brawl. Then he paused. "Wait. Dipper? My Dipper? He actually fought someone?"  
"Er, yes, Mr. Pines. He actually beat up three seniors today before first period. We'd like you to come in to the school later today and speak with his teacher Mrs. Godwin about it."  
Stan hummed in agreement, and made an appointment to come in. After he set the phone down and hung up, he smiled to himself. "Still fighting back," he rumbled in thought. "Atta boy."  
DIPPER AND MABEL RETURN HOME  
"I can't believe you actually beat someone up!" Mabel was still shocked by that news she had received in her art class at the end of the day.   
"Yeah, well, they pissed me off." Dipper said, reaching to open the door. Before he could, however, the door slammed open, and there stood Bill. Before the twins could say anything, Bill grabbed Dipper and yanked him into the Shack, shouting, "You inflicted pain on a human?! That's wonderful! You're finally reaching for your true potential! Oh, Pine Tree, this is gonna be fun! Did you make them beg?! Are they bleeding internally?! Gimme details, gimme details!"  
"Woah!" Dipper yelped, surprised at the demon's energy. "Dude, calm down! It was only a couple of blows, and then it was over."  
"Yeah, over cuz Dip knocked 'em down with one hit each! Like, BOOSH!" Mabel pitched in excitedly.   
"Mabel, you're not helping!" Dipper groaned, trying to wriggle out of Bill's vice-like grip. "Bill, how did you even know about it?"  
"The school called me." Gruncle Stan said, standing in the doorway to the tv room. The twins and the demon all paused, looking at the old man. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look that clearly said, 'Ah, shit.'  
"Hey, Bill, why don't we go hang out up in my room?" Mabel said suddenly, grabbing Bill's arm. "We can make some cool sweaters or something!"  
"Alright, let's go!" Bill cheered, racing after Mabel. The not-a-mail-man-but-a-male-man twin was grateful for his sister's diversion that would prevent the demon from harassing their Gruncle even more.   
"Kid, lets talk." Stan said, leading the way out to the porch.   
OUTDOORS  
Stan stood, taking in all of the beautiful scenery around him in the fading sunlight. He watched Dipper out of the corner of his eye, taking in the boy's changes.   
Gone was the puffy blue vest, the awkward noodle arms, and constant avoidance of eye contact. Instead, the boy had filled out, learned to bathe, and often wore t shirts or jackets. He looked people square in the eye, always stood by what he believed to be right, and wasn't afraid to do his own thing.   
The old man couldn't be prouder.   
"Dipper, listen. I know about the fight, but not about why. I don't need to. I know that whatever went down wasn't your fault. All I'm gonna say is, whenever someone actually does something to provoke you into physical combat, I want you to hit them so hard that they can't remember what happened, but also have a permanent mark to never forget. Understood?"  
The kid looked at his Gruncle in shock, before nodding. They stood in a companionable silence for a moment, just enjoying the cool evening. The Dipper spoke.   
"They were talking about Pacifica. They kept saying all of this awful stuff about her, and I couldn't let that happen." Dipper's voice was quiet, firm, and calm. He knew what he did wasn't wrong, and that he'd do it again if he had to. Stan discovered that, yes, he could be prouder than before. And he was.   
AT THE SCHOOL  
"Very well, Mr. Pines, I'll go and take back the suspension request. I'll be back in just a moment." The teacher said, smiling at him before leaving the classroom.   
Stan immediately slumped down, relaxing and letting his stomach pop out. The last twenty minutes were worse than that date with Lazy Susan years ago. This woman-Stan had forgotten her name-was so dreadfully boring, he'd been tempted to read a history textbook left on the desk next to him. At least he'd been able to charm the old bat out of suspending Dipper.   
Still bored, Stan let his gaze wander, before settling at the desktop. It was covered in graffiti from multiple people, but three stood out the most.   
A simple message in that same cool, lazy scrawl of an old employee, and still dear friend, of his caught his eye, and he smiled. It was a simple message, sure, but it reminded him of Wendy-her jokes, her slacking, her in general. He thought back to all of the boys he had chased off on her behalf and grinned.   
Then he saw Mabel's and Dipper's. they were so clearly his family it was almost laughable. Mabel with her over the top glittery fiasco, and Dipper with his own messy yet eye catching handwriting.   
Stan chuckled, before pulling out an old knife, and carving into the top of the desk. He had to make it quick in case that boring blob came back, so he didn't put too much effort into it. But he did sign it with the symbol on his fez. As soon as he'd slipped the knife back into his hidden leg sheath, he rose and quickly left the room. Like Hell he'd stay to get hit on by that old bore.   
He whistled softly as he walked through the worn down halls of the school, still proud of his own work. 

PINES! PINES! PINES! PINES!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
